Draw Another Breath
by SaturnineSunshine
Summary: Chuck looked back to the bar. As much as he wanted to hate the man that had won the woman he could never let go, looking upon Louis didn't fill him with the fury and sickness he was expecting. Instead, he saw the same defeated person he saw in the mirror.


**A/N**: Honestly, I'm so exhausted by this SL. This isn't speculation, this is just something random I wrote. Not really supposed to mean anything.

**Summary**: Chuck looked back to the bar. As much as he wanted to hate the man that had won the woman he could never let go, looking upon Louis didn't fill him with the fury and sickness he was expecting. Instead, he saw the same defeated person he saw in the mirror.

**Disclaimer**: Nothing is mine. Characters are GG. THanks to beta **comewhatmay.x**.

* * *

><p>He was sitting alone at the bar in 1Oak. Whether he knew it or not, there may or may not have been some significance to that.<p>

The only thing that was Chuck Bass was sure of was that he wasn't drinking his favorite scotch, but the vilest of vodkas—and by the bottle, no less. His cravat was undone, as were the top buttons of his shirt. His jacket was discarded, and it could be said that he was having slight difficulty holding up his head at that point.

He felt a distinct presence take the seat beside him, but didn't bother looking. Even if he could, he was too exhausted for this right now.

"You should be at your wedding in Monaco," Chuck said, his throat thick with alcohol.

"I'm here."

Chuck finally turned his head and looked upon the visage of Louis Grimaldi.

"And so are you."

Chuck looked back to the bar. As much as he wanted to hate the man that had won the woman he could never let go, looking upon Louis didn't fill him with the fury and sickness he was expecting. Instead, he saw the same defeated person he saw when he looked at his own reflection in the mirror.

"You didn't go to the wedding," Louis continued. Chuck's head was swimming. It was almost incomprehensible to him that the prince was still talking.

Even as incomprehensible it was that she was married now.

"You didn't really expect me to go to her wedding," Chuck stated.

"You were invited," Louis answered.

"You should know by now that social obligations mean nothing to my selfish being when it comes to her."

"You think of it as her wedding," Louis said. Chuck's head began to pound again, but he understood. They weren't progressing. They were just falling backwards.

"I don't think of you," Chuck said brutally. Louis exhibited no surprise. "Nothing I did was done as a courtesy to you. I love her with more ferocity than you are capable of. So I let her go. I did what you couldn't. I let her go."

"_I let her go."_

That one sentence answered every confusing question that plagued his brain since Louis had sat down beside him.

But Chuck wasn't even sure that he had heard.

"I let her go," Louis said a little louder. Chuck now knew that he wasn't hard of hearing.

"You didn't let her go." There was no question in Chuck's mind. He knew the way her mind worked when it was set on something. He knew her stubbornness. He knew her capability of denial. And he knew that she would never allow herself to be found foolish by a prince. She was Blair Waldorf.

She was a queen.

"Where is she?" Chuck asked.

"Actually, I thought she would be here."

"That's why you could never understand her," Chuck said. "You just don't know her. Though you think you would, considering you asked her to be your wife."

"She's not here," Louis remarked.

"She ran away from you," Chuck realized. "And no. She's not here."

"I thought she left me."

"She did leave you," Chuck answered. "She just didn't leave you for me. She doesn't need another man to leave you for. All she needs is Blair."

"I need an answer."

"Is that what you came here for?" Chuck asked incredulously. "Why would you think that I have all the answers?"

"You know everything about her," Louis said. "That night we were supposed to be together, she ran to you."

"She went back to you," Chuck said. "She never took off that diamond."

"Not after the engagement," Louis said. "In Paris. She ran to you."

Chuck's face contorted.

"I didn't ask her to."

"But she did," Louis said.

"I hadn't spoken to her in three months."

"It didn't matter."

"I didn't want her to see me."

"She left," Louis said. "Like she left yesterday."

"I don't know where she is."

"That's not the answer that I need."

"It's the one that you want," Chuck said. "Your curiosity is satisfied. She didn't leave you for me."

"Then why did she?" Louis asked. "She just left. All the guests were there. The priest..."

"She left you at the altar?" Chuck asked in astonishment.

"Yes," Louis said, confused that Chuck hadn't realized this earlier.

"I don't know where she is," Chuck said again.

Louis smiled faintly. "Yes, you do."

"She never told me," Chuck amended.

"But you know where she'll go."

"Does it matter?"

"Just tell me the truth."

"The truth is," Chuck said, "you should have seen the truth all along. You loved her so simply. But Blair isn't simple. That's the mistake you made."

Chuck threw a few bills onto the counter. He felt Louis react as he stepped away from the bar.

"You're leaving."

"Yes. The solitude of my suite is looking more and more attractive."

"You won't go after her?" Louis asked.

"If she wanted me," Chuck said, "I would know."

Louis stayed at the bar, watching a man so tarnished he couldn't possiblly be righted again fade away.

"You know."

* * *

><p>Chuck had only been to London once. His father had taken a business trip there and had just fired another au pair for unethical behavior.<p>

That was the trip where Chuck had learned the word '_hypocrite_.'

He didn't know what he was doing there now.

Blair never vacationed in London.

She was more partial to Paris. It had seemed that way in the past. But there was something comforting about a European city that spoke English and was far enough away from her life.

And it still had a monarchy.

Chuck didn't know exactly what had brought him there, but he was sure it was the same thing that had assured a confused prince.

She wasn't the type to run. That was Chuck's forte. But he was here. Somehow, while passing a generic bar with a wide window that put the occupants inside on display like drunk mannequins, he knew no matter what the reason, he was at the right place, at the right time.

He was sure that Blair Waldorf would disagree.

The fine hairs at the back of her neck prickled and the sense of déjà vu was too strong. Chuck was looking through a window at a bar and yet again, he could finally command her to look at him.

She was just about to leave. Then there were those slanting eyes of his and she had to turn.

She looked up.

_Everyone's here._

Her heart dropped because the love of her life had found her once again.

* * *

><p>"You found me."<p>

"I didn't know you were running."

"Yes, you did."

They were quiet, alone even though people surrounded them. He could never help the stern and reproachful tone he took with her. She always did what she wanted. So did he. He just wished they could reach some sort of middle ground.

He never thought it would be here.

"Where's the ring?"

"I left it in the dressing room."

Chuck couldn't help his bitter laugh.

"You literally left him at the alter."

"You always did have a cruel sense of humor."

"Louis didn't make it sound that way."

She was right. He liked the way she looked hurt.

"You talked to him?" she asked.

"Why?" Chuck asked. "Did you want to?"

"How is he?"

"Still royal."

"I didn't marry him."

"It's never too late."

"I didn't want to."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me."

"Then why are you here?" Blair demanded. He couldn't look her in the eyes.

He never could when they started telling each other the truth. It was too unfamiliar.

He was getting better.

"You ran away," Chuck said softly, finally looking up. "And you didn't tell me."

"You didn't come to the wedding."

"Everyone is so surprised," Chuck said. "Did it ever occur to you how deeply selfish I am? Self-preservation is the strongest emotion."

"You're not selfish," Blair said. "It's just easier for you when everyone sees you as the villain."

"You see right through me." His voice was cold, and yet again, she felt a sense of familiarity.

"Why are you here?"

"Because you ran away," Chuck said. "You didn't tell me. And I'm the coward?"

"Do you think it was cowardice?" Blair asked. "Or honesty?"

"Don't glamorize it," Chuck said.

"I made a mistake."

"Which time?"

"All my life."

"He's not coming for you," Chuck said. "He just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"And he sent you on this errand?" Blair asked.

"You can't fault him for loving you," Chuck said. "It's easier than it looks."

"I fault him for making me forget that life is hard," Blair said. "But I don't blame him. He brought me here."

"Where's here?" Chuck said. "A foreign country with no friends?"

"Monaco was foreign," Blair said. "New York was foreign. I was at home in only one place."

"Don't tell me," Chuck said.

He watched another flicker of pain cross her face. It was too easy for them.

"We care too much."

"I used to think that was a disadvantage," Blair said. "But you're here."

"I had to find you."

"Why?"

"I just had to."

"Why?"

"The same reason you ran," he said. "The reason you didn't tell anyone. The reason that I could find you so easily. Of the trillions of people on this planet, I didn't need anything but myself to find you. You don't have to tell me. I know."

"You came for me," Blair said. "I didn't ask you to and I didn't want you to."

"It's not my world without you in it."

"We're getting so close," Blair smiled faintly, "to saying how we truly feel."

"Say it."

"I think I called out for you," she said. "I was so scared. And across the ocean, you heard me."

"Always."

"Would you stay for me?" Blair asked.

"I'd do anything."

"You flew commercial."

"I did."

"You fell in an alley in Prague."

"I did."

"You're here."

"I am."

"I was a coward for running away," she said.

"You didn't marry him."

"I didn't," she said. "But I stole something from you."

He finally smirked. And, God, how she had missed it.

"Did you?"

He knew.

"Do you want it back?"

"No."

He had already found it.


End file.
